Two months in and I’m doing this thang! (Yes, I meant thang – I want you to read that exactly how it is written, and be sure to add some extra sass to it.) Just yesterday, the hubs and I made it to two months of being married, and I dropped a post on IG (be sure to check it out) answering the “Million Dollar Question”: How’s married life? with a simple answer: GREAT.
You know, with IG, I feel like simple it’s best – let’s be honest, most people are only there to look at the pictures, see a small caption, and move on. Truly, they may only be on for the “quick scroll and like”, so anything written isn’t really getting read. With that in mind, I decided to keep it a little short for the gram, but enough to allow those who are willing to read, to have a bit of insight on how married life is going for me. I’ve only been in it for two months, but these two months really have been great.
I love my husband. I love how God has created him – loud farts and all. Talking about doing life with him is definitely one of my favorite things to do. So, this is exactly what I want to do today. Grab your preferred beverage and snack, and dive in with me. This is my perspective on married life – two months in!
There are many nights, on my way to bed, that it still hits me like a shock that I’m married. I’m a whole wife friends. You know, the whole wedding gown, walk down the aisle, say I do, take his last name type. The pray for your man daily, serve him, and find ways to keep improving as a wife type. The read RELATIONSHIP GOALS by Michael Todd and join the small group/marriage study by Holly Furtick called BECOMING MRS. BETTERHALF type. Yes, I’m that wife already. But no worries, it’s not all business, ya girl is having a blast in this marriage thing as well. I’ve just determined that I want to keep growing – in God’s word as well as a better wife, who will one day become a mother (but not anytime soon, no need to ask).
Things that I have truly enjoyed during these first two of marriage have been the following:
Ending the day next to him, and waking up with him still there. Before getting married, we lived on the YWAM base of Madrid, Spain, where he lived on the 2nd floor with the male personal of the base and I lived on the third floor with the female personal of the base. We would end each day with a prayer and then walking to our separate floors for the night, and the next morning, he’d text me when my coffee was ready. It wasn’t the worst situation, seeing how we didn’t have to get into a car to see each other, but getting so close to the wedding day really made it suck to have to say goodnight and leave. So when I’m laying in bed next to him, sometimes I just stare at him and I’m so thankful for where we are. It’s also at this time when we really talk.
Processing the day with him. You know how as the day gets going, each person has their own agenda. For us, it’s homeschooling the nephew (me) while he works on things from his computer until “recess time” where he takes over things with the nephew. After “school time” has ended, we may watch some TV with my mom, play a computer game with one of the homies, or maybe play some game with just the two of us. But really, none of these things really open up the door for us to just talk – especially to have just the two of us conversation (this is not to say that my mom has not given us our own space. She has been PHENOMENAL in this department. ) What we have found is that the space, in the bedroom and lying in bed, has been that space – I love it. I really enjoy just talking to him. Sometimes, it’s about the growth we have seen in the nephew since we first began homeschooling our nephew. Sometimes, we talk about what God has done throughout the day. A hot topic lately has been just talking about what our future may look like – when will we return to Spain, and how might that look. And of course, we always end it with prayer. This is also when we may put on one of the shows we are watching together, and just cuddle. I LOVE CUDDLES! Like, REALLY love cuddles!
Learning more about each other. There are things that you can only learn about someone once you live with them. Not everything I have learned about my sweet hubs has been pleasant – like his LOUD farts in the morning (that he did warn me about before marriage, but now I’m experiencing them for myself) – but they’re him. You know, it’s nothing like marriage to remind you that we were all made/raised differently – there really is no reason to get bent out of shape if we don’t do things the same way. Some of these moments have been great learning experiences for me – there really is more than one way to do things, and that’s okay.
Serving him and how he serves me. True loves gives. I love giving to my husband in any way he is wanting/needing. Seeing him happy really makes me happy. My husband is MORE THAN CAPABLE of doing many things, and I know this, however I absolutely love getting him a bottle of water out of the fridge when I see that he doesn’t have one. I love making him something to eat when he is hungry. I love rubbing his back when he has a pain. I love throwing away his trash or washing his dish after we have eaten something. And it feels absolutely amazing when he does the same for me. He still makes me coffee in the morning, no matter what time I want it. He cleans the dishes when I make dinner. He gives me back rubs while I’m planning/writing something. I’m just trying to be like Christ in my marriage, being like Him has proven to be such a blessing to me.
Cuddles, back rubs, pecks on the lips, and random moments of “I just came to sit with you”. Listen, I am a TOUCHY person. I love being all up in his space and any given moment. After teaching our nephew all morning, my favorite thing to do is jump on his lap and give him a TIGHT hug while he rubs my back. Then there are those moments when he’s been on the computer, either working or playing a game, and he comes over to the couch where I’m sitting and just sits next to me. I typically respond to him with, “yes?”, and he just tells me he was coming to just sit next to me. Let me tell you, it melts my heart, and yes, makes ya girl want to get up and cook him a meal, rub his feet, whatever he needs. I love how attentive he is and how he speaks ya girl’s love language so well.
Praying together. When we began to date, we knew that we wanted to do this thing with the three of us always – him, me, and God. This has not changed. I love coming together to talk to God – where we thank Him for all He has done, is doing, and will do in our lives, and pray for other needs of which we have been made aware.
Where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.Matthew 18: 20
Doing married people thangs. You already know exactly what I mean here. I’m a christian woman who failed in this department, but who surrender this part of me to Christ and decided to hold myself pure from that day forth, until marriage. When I say pure, I mean not even kissing. Let me tell you, that was not always the easiest thing to do. As I mentioned before, I am a TOUCHY person, I like to touch and be touched, so surrendering that part of me was very difficult, but it wasn’t impossible. I wanted God to get the glory in our relationship, and I knew I would need to put myself and my desires aside for Him. Now, being married, getting to kiss my husband as many times as I want (well, maybe not as many times as I want because it can be suffocating), and doing married people thangs feels amazing! Listen, let me be straight up: sex + marriage = is a-whole-nother level!
Serving with him. We are both missionaries to Spain, which is where we met, serving on a YWAM (Youth With a Mission) base in Madrid. Although we are serving at the same base, we don’t necessarily get to work together because we work with different ministries on the base. Really, it’s fine – being Americans, we know it’s not a normal thing for husband and wife to work at the same place. However, it has been such a blessing getting to serve alongside him these two months. We have both been able to serve at the CityGate Dream Center for the food distribution every Thursday, which we both super enjoy, and work together to homeschool our nephew. Homeschooling our nephew has turned out to be a double blessing; we are not only able to bless my brother and sister-n-love with helping our nephew with his schooling, but we are also getting to know our nephew more and getting to see him grow academically. I love that God has given us this opportunity to be part of his academic growth. It’s been a really great time.
I love my husband. I love the way God has created him. I love how we compliment each other. I love that he allows me to be fully myself and chooses to love every part of me. I love getting to do life with him, and look forward to the many things God has in store for the both of us. We both love God. We both obey and want to continue to obey God. There’s power there. I believe God has big plans for us, and I look forward to seeing those plans come to pass and sharing it with you all.
Two months have passed. Here’s to many more to come!