How can one have so much liquid inside of tear ducts? I am pretty sure I have cried enough for the entire state of North Carolina! These tears have been very cleansing for me, though.
With today’s post, I want to share with you what Daddy God has been doing for me during week 4 and week 5’s classes.
Week 4: Father Heart of God
You know, I grew up in the church – my dad was the pastor of a Baptist church, so knowing about God was not a problem for me. As I grew up, I remember seeing God move in miraculous ways – especially when we were homeless. I was a little girl, and I remember one moment when we were passing time in an airport. We were hungry, but didn’t have any food. At one moment, I remember looking in the trash cans for something, but there was absolutely nothing but TRASH!
Well, I don’t know the conversation my earthly dad had with my Daddy God, but he walks over to one of the trash cans that I had already looked in, and pulled out a container of fruit for us to eat! Yes, my Daddy God was showing me, even as a little girl, how much He loves me, how good He is, and that He is always with me! I remember plenty of moments like that, moments that have been a vital part in my walk with Christ.
However, the enemy tries to come in and distort the image of God, because he knows if he can distort His image, then we will not want to get closer to God. This is why knowing God as the Father is the key to life. After knowing Him is, it is impossible to not love Him.
Growing up, even when my parents were together, I felt as though my dad was there more for my brother, than he was for me. One night, the enemy was extremely busy, as he used a family of mine to say to me, “you are not your dad’s daughter.” As a little girl, that scarred me – especially for me, as I was such a thinker even as a little girl. I began to see how my dad spent more time with my brother than he did with me, so I began to believe what she said. Then when my parents divorced, and my dad wasn’t around, the image of a father was very distorted for me. But God!
I think about how God was still very involved in my life even in the mist of my unspoken pain and confusion. He used one of my uncles in such a sweet way, and I am ever grateful for him. My uncle never let a day go without calling me his princess, or even saying how beautiful I was to him. Daddy God also used one of my cousins as a beautiful Godly father figure in my life. His love for the Lord and His word, his love for his own daughters, and his gentleness even with me, showed me the love a father has for his little girl. Daddy God was always with me!
What really spoke to me during this class week, and continues to do so, is the fact that Daddy God chose me, and continues to choose me. You know, to love someone is a choice you make daily; DAILY! He chooses me EVERYDAY! He chose me, who He wants to use to go into the nations to bring forth the good news about Him. To go into the not so pretty places, the dark and nasty, to bring His light, His joy, His beauty. He chose me! To feel wanted feels absolutely amazing. And to know that He wants to use ME; There are literally no words for the way that I felt, and even the way I still feel every time I think about it. My Daddy wants to use ME to go and shake nations! WHAT?!
“I treasure you.” “I am proud of you.” “You are mine.”
This week wrecked me. It healed me. It made me love my Daddy God so much more than I could ever have imagined.
Then to top off this week, we ended the week going on a mini hike to go have class outside in such a beautiful place. Then for the weekend, we went to visit some castles – umm, where else would you find the princess of the King of Kings? I’m telling you, my Daddy God loves His little girl!
Week 5: Praise & Worship / Relationships
If you know me, you know how stubborn I am; I am getting better, but it’s a process.
Before leaving for Spain, I had a conversation with our beautiful worship pastor, in which she talked to me about not comparing myself with other people. Although I remember this conversation, I still struggled with this – especially when it came to singing. I love to sing, but didn’t have confidence in my voice because it didn’t sound like hers, nor like my mommy’s.
Daddy God has placed inside of me, a love for music and dance. I absolutely love music – the instruments, the voices, and the use of words – it’s absolutely beautiful. And how freeing it is to move/dance. What an amazing gift that God has blessed us with, that of course, the enemy tries to use against us.
Well, I come here to Spain, and one of my teammates, Carina doesn’t allow a day to go by without singing. Carina has such a beautiful voice, and such a beautiful heart of worship. As much as I love her voice, I found myself comparing my voice to hears, “Oh no, I don’t sound like her. Don’t let anyone else hear my voice.” Any time the music was loud, I’d sing so that no one could hear me. I mean, at least that is what I was thinking.
I also remember a time when I was talking to someone about preaching – how that was just not my thing.
This week, was a week of resurrection for sure. I told you in a previous post about how I am not to be quiet, well Daddy God continues to tell me the same thing. Daddy God resurrected my love for singing in such an incredible way, through an experience of Harp y Bowl. And through this same experience, Daddy pulled out a love of speaking to the masses. I can so see myself preaching/speaking, and I can’t even believe that this is coming from me right now, but I can see it! I know that Daddy has plans to use me to do so, and I know that I am going to have to continue to fight myself to JUST DO IT – to get out of my own head.
Through this class, I have also gained a new understanding and appreciation for the tabernacle [what a powerful experience]
As His unique treasure, He hears my prayer requests, and He keeps His promises. With this in mind, I have rewritten my prayer request for my husband, with my Daddy’s guidance, and I have given my husband over to my Daddy God. I know that I have a calling on my life, and I refuse to give up my calling for the wrong one.
Lesson I have learned:
- It’s a beautiful thing to realize that in my moment of expressing my love for my Daddy God, that the love that He has placed inside of me, is what will come out. So if I feel like dancing, DANCE. If I feel like writing, WRITE. If I feel like falling to my knees, FALL TO MY KNEES to worship Him. I am how He has made me, and there is nothing wrong with that! I am His unique treasure!
- Rest is important, so enjoy the moments when there is nothing going on. Look for Him in every passing moment.
My encouragement to you: If you like to sing, sing. If you like to dance, dance. If you are a writer, write. You were made unique, so comparing yourself to someone else is a waste of time. [I am speaking to myself as well]
Please know that I am ever grateful for your partnership in this adventure, whether it be through prayer (please read the “get involved” page), finances, text messages, social media posts, or letters (if you need my address, PLEASE message me). If you would like to financially support me in any way, please click the button found on the Home page, or send me an email. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
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