I Won’t Keep Quiet

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I Won’t Keep Quiet

Week 3LOVE is beautiful.

The fruits of the spirit in our lives, were made to be picked and not to be sold.” – Benjamin Wussow

Class update…

Last week’s class of Destiny by Design was absolutely incredible!  I discovered so much about myself, and can’t wait to see where God takes me from here.  One of the class days was based on our Identity.  On this day, we took some time to pray and ask God to show us what He saw when He created me.

As I closed my eyes, I saw an image with it’s arms spread completely out wide.  As the image began to get more clear, I could see that this image was a person, but with wings, BIG wings.  These wings were spread out wide, as this person stood awaiting to soar.  I continued to pray, because I still didn’t quite understand this image.  “I’m not a bird, Daddy.  What in the world are You trying to tell me?  What am I supposed to understand from this image You are showing me?”  

He showed me this image again, but this time, it was of an eagle. “Okay, cool Daddy, an eagle.  BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME?!”  I decided to take some time to get into His word and study an eagle from His point of view.  You know, when you take some time to just stop and think a bit, you learn quite a bit.  When I took some time to study, I learn quite a bit about myself as an eagle:

  • an eagle perches up high until the wind thermal.
    • an eagle can die from over exertion, for this reason an eagle doesn’t use its wings as often, but instead, SOARS.  An eagle will sit perched up high for days, awaiting the wind thermal to arrive, so that it may be able to mix a bit of flying and soaring to get to wherever it needs, to do whatever it needs.
      • an eagle has to learn how to fly on the wind thermals, I too must learn how to fly on the power of the Holy Spirit in my life.  I must learn to fly with the anointing of God. The power of the Holy Spirit flowing & operating through me. I must learn to be led by the Holy Spirit.  Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord [Zechariah 4: 6]
        • I am to remain still, until Daddy calls me to move!
  • an eagle is a symbol of one who will do a work of destruction, sweeping away whatever is decaying.
    • When Daddy calls me to move, it will be to do His work.  To set fires to nations – a fire of “crazy for Christ” – to get rid of the hate and darkness, but to bring forth love and light.
  • I’ve been #CalledToGo; it’s not going to be easy, but God has given me, and will continue to be my, strength.  Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.  [Isaiah 40: 31]
  • The large wings that an eagle has are very strong.
    • The wings on which I soar, are of Faith and Belief.  As I continue to walk and grow in my faith and hold on to my belief, so will my wings grow – so will the distance that God sends me!

Friends, I am extremely excited to know that God sees me as His eagle; that He wants to use me to GO!  Just thinking about how beautiful an eagle is, and how beautifully an eagle soars in the sky – AHHHH!!  My Daddy sees me as a beautiful creation of His! 

Weekly Updates…

I continue to push myself to grow in the Spanish language, as I have a goal to be confidently fluent in speaking Spanish, and also translating!  It’s a process, but I know that as long as I continue to move forward, my Daddy God will be right there with me along the way!  In Jesus name, ya girl will be fluent in TWO languages!

As a way to help with becoming fluent, I have actually been moved to the “Spanish speakers” small group for our Wednesday small groups (we have small groups every Wednesday, where we just take time to hang out, talk about the good & the bad, and just build relationship).  I have also tried to spend more time speaking language as much as possible; sitting with as many “Spanish speakers” as I possibly can during meal times, or even just in passing I try to use the language.  There are moments when my brain just needs a break, so I do retract to my “English” turtle shell, but I am a fighter, so I will fight this as much as I can!  Daddy God blessed me with such a sweet moment this past weekend.  Half of our DTS team went into Madrid for tourism type fun, while the other half of us stayed back.  Those of us who stayed back, had a cute little lunch together before we went on a little walk to Parque Europa.  I was able to have some “mommy phone time” before lunch, which definitely helped disguise the sadness that I could feel sneaking up on me.  

As we walked to Parque Europa, I was fine, as I continued to chat with my “family”.  But, when we arrived to Parque Europa, as a joke (after I said something wrong in Spanish), I told them that I was just going to remain quiet.  I really hadn’t thought much into what I was doing, as I really intended on it just being a joke.  However, this silence began to eat away at me; removing my voice from me, caused my mind to go wild!  The sadness that I was able to disguise and forget about, began to take over me, but then the enemy also began to place thoughts in my mind, that I knew weren’t real but, because of my own stupidity, I couldn’t speak against him.  I was stuck in my own mental prison, and I couldn’t get out!  Mari, Ale, and Nito all tried to get me to talk, but I was already lost.

Upon leaving the park, and heading to the store, I continued to pray, and pray, and pray.  It was revealed to me just how powerful my voice is, and that God has made me to USE MY VOICE! I have never taken the time to really look at myself as God has, but during this battle of the mind, I learned so much about myself.  Just in the last couple of  weeks, many people have told me that I have such a way about me that makes people smile/laugh.  Even at the park, as my little family continued to tried to get me to talk, they would say things about how it isn’t the same without me talking, and my spirit, etc.  Removing my voice, also seemed to dim my light a little.

 

The more I thought about it, and the more I think about it now, God has used my voice, on so many occasions, for His kingdom:

  • through worship
  • teaching students in the classroom
  • interaction with fellow teachers/staff
  • speaking life into young adults
  • praying for others

What’s cool, is that the list can really go on, and can be so much more detailed.  I love that God has shown me just how much He has been using me, because what I could think about is just how much of a “shark” I say that I can be with my voice.  I know that at times, I have a way with my voice/words that can tear someone down, and that is far from the person I want to be; my Daddy God has truly shown me different/better.

The mind is a battlefield.  I received the devotional of this book from my dear Nicki H before leaving home, and it couldn’t have come a better time.  Thank you so much for YOUR obedience Nicki!  As a thinker, I know that the enemy tries to use my mind against me, but my Daddy God has other/better plans for me!

My little mini family and I went back to Hillsong Madrid for church Sunday afternoon.  We had plans on going to 

 

Parque de Madrid – that didn’t work out, as the park was closed due to high winds.  Nonetheless, we did enjoy a very nice lunch on the steps of the park, right in front of the gated entrance.  We also had plans to beat Nate back home (he took the metro & bus back home, but we rode the train), but that didn’t work out either; somehow we ended up on the longer route back – 2 hours later, we made it back home where our “Ma” had dinner ready for us!

Lessons I have learned:  

  • USE THE GIFTS THAT GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH!  God has given me a gift with my voice, but when I choose to not use it for Him, I am opening up the door to the enemy to have free game!  NOT OKAY!!
  • Even when things don’t go as planned, or the way I want them to, there is still every reason to have joy. #SMILEBIG
  • Things aren’t always going to be easy, so BE READY!!  Spend time in His word – get to know and understand what He says about me, so that I am prepared for the attacks of the enemy.
  • I am a self-taught person, which is a very vital gift that God has blessed me with.
  • Even when we mess up, God is waiting for us to come back to Him with arms wide open.  Just like “Ma” was waiting her for us with a warm meal, after our 2 hour mess up!  There was complete joy on her face for “her babies” as we finally made it home.  God feels the same way when we run back to Him.

My encouragement to you:  Don’t hide from your mistakes, learn from them.  Take them to God and allow Him to fix them.  Walk boldly in the calling that God has on Your life; don’t allow ANYONE to talk you out of the calling God has on your life.  If you don’t live in it, you will be absolutely miserable.  The road won’t be easy, but it will be worth it!

Please know that I am ever grateful for your partnership in this adventure, whether it be through prayer, finances, text messages, social media posts, or soon to be letters (if you need my address, PLEASE message me).  THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

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